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Response from Men's Sexual Health:

Hello and thanks for getting in touch with us. What you are describing is a case of Erectile Dysfunction. This is when a man finds it difficult to get or maintain an erection. There are generally two types of ED, Physiological or Psychological. Physiological issues include - deterioration of the arteries (this is more common in older men), diabetes, smoking, alcoholism, overweight, hormone problems. Psychological issues include, Stress: which could be job related, money issues, relationship issues etc, Anxiety: Once a man experiences ED, he may become overly worried that the problem will happen again. This can lead to "performance anxiety," or a fear of sexual failure, and consistently lead to ED, Guilt: A man may feel guilty that he is not satisfying his partner, Depression : A common cause of ED, depression affects a person physically and psychologically. Depression can cause ED even when a man is completely comfortable in sexual situations. Drugs used to treat depression may also cause ED, Low self-esteem: This can be due to prior episodes of ED (thus a feeling of inadequacy) or can be the result of other issues unrelated to sexual performance, also Childhood abuse has been related to ED. Some men suffer with more than one of the above issues, as some of these cause some of the others to occur.

Are you able to get an erection when you masturabte alone, if you are then it probably shows that there is nothing wrong physiologically with you and this it is more of a psychological issue.

We would recommend speaking to your GP/Doctor so they can determine if it a physiological issue or a psychological issue. The best way to solve psychological ED is therapy with a professional counsellor sex therapist. Discussing you anxiety and fears and concerns will be a big step in dealing with them and overcoming them. Being open and honest with your partner will help this, and may benefit in both attending therapy. If its physiological they will be able to run the appropriate tests and prescribe the right course of treatment for this, please do not seek medications online, you risk being prescribed the wrong medicine or worse, purchasing fake medicine that could end up doing more harm than good, so please make an appointment with your own doctor. But based on what you have said in your question, its prob psychological, performance anxiety, so counselling may help. Please let us know if we can be of further help.

Answered by team member Matt
1st November 2013