Q&As View a Question

Response from Men's Sexual Health:

The problem you feel you are having actually sounds quite normal. After a man ejaculates, his penis usually becomes soft, returning to its smaller pre-erect state. He will usually need some time to recover, before he can have another erection and ejaculation. This recovery period is called the refractory period, and generally, is quicker for younger men. Some men can have an erection immediately afterwards, some can have a few orgasms/ejaculations in a few hours, whilst others take longer to become erect again. It all falls within the normal parameters of sexual health!

If you had difficulty maintaining an erection during sex, in your circumstance, the most likely cause would be mental; due to the problems you are having in your relationship. Erectile dysfunction, when your penis goes soft during when you don’t want it to, has many causes, both physical and mental and affects most men at some point in their life. To help prevent these kinds of problems in the future, you need to address your relationship issues with your girlfriend. If you've been fighting, even if you're having makeup sex, you most likely have residual worries that weigh on you that can affect you both. She may be experiencing similar feelings of worry, making it difficult for her to orgasm. If you two can work on your relationship issues, and not fight so much, it will no doubt ease the pressure you feel when you are having sex, as wedll as make life together happier! If you are finding that you ejaculate too quickly, again, your mind can play a large part in that. One thing you can try is using condoms, as they can help reduce sensitivity. There are also special condoms and lubricant you can use, that have a slight numbing effect on the penis, to help you last longer. The Delay brand, by Pasante or Performa by Durex, along with other store brands like Boots are specially made to help with premature ejaculation. These products prolong lovemaking by using a low dosage skin numbing ingredient like benzocaine, to reduce sensitivity and postpone orgasm. I hope this all helps. Please get back to us if you have any more questions or worries.

Answered by team member Mara
11th October 2010