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From bangalore about sex

I am 29 years old married with2 kids past 9months I penis is not sstanding properly like normal men its not erecting but once in week it is erected.first when female come near me penis start standing but not know even I am not getting thefeelings I could not have a daily sex my partner is not happy give some medician or give some solution

Asked by mohammed
18th October 2013 (in Sex)

Tags: penis

Response from Men's Sexual Health:

This is quite common: most guys have it from time to time, but they don't tell other people about it because of worry or shame.. Firstly, try not to worry, fear of not getting hard makes it more difficult to get or to stay hard. In a young man it does not normally have a physical cause, more likely that you are tired, stressed or worried that you are making your partner unhappy. If you worry that you are losing your manhood, the worry itself stops you getting and staying hard. Yet very often it gets better by itself.

Talking to your partner about it can be a big help. Start by agreeing that you can cuddle but not touch each other's sexual parts. Just relax together. To begin with, even if you get hard while you cuddle, don't try to touch sexually.. You should wait for a few days and often you will find yourself very hard and excited again. Then agree a day to try sex again at a time when the kids are asleep, you are fresh and not tired, and  can both relax and find plenty of time to pleasure each other in lots of places (avoid penis and vagina to begin with)  before you try to come inside her.

Medication like viagra or cialis can also help you get hard, and it can build confidence, but try to avoid using it for more than a few times. If you are fit it isn't necessary and you and your partner will probably enjoysex even better if you can stop the pills after a few times. If you are unwell – for example with diabetes or a heart condition – you should talk to a doctor before taking medication.

If you are still having problems, it can be helpful talking to a sex therapist if you can get to see one.They are expert at talking to help to find out why the problem happened. But just remember that for most young men who are well this problem will go away by itself eventually if you can stop worrying about it and relax.

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Answered by team member Dr Peter
8th December 2015

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