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Gay Virgins

Can two gay men get an std or sti during anal and oral sex.? both are virgins and std free.

Asked by anonymous
9th March 2013 (in Sex)

Tags: gay oral sex sti

Response from Men's Sexual Health:

Hello and thanks for contacting Men's Sexual Health. There is a fair lot to discuss here! For a start, only each individual person knows if they are a virgin. By this I mean that some people claim to be virgins for many reasons, one of which could be to ensure that the other person thinks they are STD/STI clean. I'm not saying the other person is lying, but it's something to keep in mind as only you can be sure of your own virginity. Also I might question the term "virgin" - does that mean they have not had penetrative sex, but have explored other sexual activity, or that they have had no sexual activity at all? Different people apply the term virgin in various ways depending on how much or what kind of sexual activity they have or haven't experienced. The concern is that one or both people who claim to be virgins may have had oral sex, for example, which DOES put them at risk of certain STI's/STD's. So, although a virgin in anal/vaginal sex, it doesn't mean 100% virgin or 100% free of STI/STD. What I'm saying is that if both are truly 100% virgins it is pretty unlikely that a transmission of an STI would occur - we would never say it's impossible as it would be wrong of us to suggest this. However, you need to be aware that sex with any new partner carries some amount of risk even if one or both claim to be virgins based on the information we discussed at the start. Also some people think they have no STI's because many STI's have no visible signs or symptoms.

Condoms offer the best protection against STI's and HIV, if you do not plan/want to use condoms we would suggest a visit to your local GUM clinic. You can go as a couple, you could both be tested and get the results together and then you would know for sure that you are both free from STI's. It may sound like a lot of bother, but you should never go ahead and have sex just because you both "claim" to be virgins as this might cause you harm without having all the information and knowledge of the possible risks. Having sex for the first time is a big step, please ensure it is something you both want and that neither partner is being pressured into something they are not ready for. We would also recommend using lube for anal sex; due to the lack of natural lubrication in the arse, this will also help reduce any pain.

Condoms offer the best protection against STI's/HIV, if you do not plan/want to use condoms we would suggest a visit to your local GUM clinic, you can go as a couple, you could both be tested and get the results together then you would know for sure that you are both free from STI's. It may sound like a lot to go through with, but we could never say go ahead and have sex because you both claim to be virgins to then put you at harm with out full information and knowledge of what the risks are. Having sex for the first time is a big step, please ensure it is something you both want, and neither partner is being pressured into something they are not ready for. We would also recommend using lube for anal sex, due to the lack of natural lubrication in the arse, this will also help reduce any pain. If you live in Swindon, we can order free condoms and/or lube from our website. Please get back in touch if you would like further advice on this subject

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Answered by team member Matt
11th March 2013

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