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sir/madam, good day I m a 26 yrs male getting married next month ,my fiancee is 23 yr.now the pblm is couple of days back we were in physical contact as I observe she is more comfort with me but I m not ,I get excite for some minutes and later on no Also some liquid came out of my penis and but when I mastribute alone thinking about het I m more excited and it lasts for more time I m really worried please help me . this is the first time getting physical contact with a girl but I was in love with a girl who left me and during that time I was deeply depressed now I m recovering. please pardon me for grammar mistake please help me

Asked by SDAN
23rd November 2013 (in Sex)

Tags: penis gay

Response from Men's Sexual Health:

Hello and thank for contacting MSH. Having sex for the first time can be an extremely nervous situation for most people. Because your mind and subconscious knows this, your body will react from these fears, worries and concerns, so many man find on their first time that either they ejaculate too soon, or find it difficult to keep or maintain an erection. Because this happened to you on your first attempt, when you went to try again, you would be even more nervous that this would occur again, thus your body fails to perform. The fact you can masturbate shows that you can get and maintain an erection, but as you are alone when you do that, you don't suffer any performance anxiety. We suggest talking to your gf about this, explain your anxiety, and hopefully she will understand and support you. You are possibly also still affected by this other girl who left you, did you have a bad sexual experience with her, as this may have also knocked your confidence. When you try again, take your time, explore each others bodies, find different kinds of foreplay that turns each of you own, every person likes different areas to be kissed and touched. Don't stress if your body doesn't react right away, trying giving her pleasure, kissing her, using your hands, hopefully by making her happy will have a positive reaction on your body. You may also benefit from some form of counselling to help improve your confidence, if you live in Swindon we may be able to help you with this, if so get back in touch.

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Answered by team member Matt
3rd December 2013

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