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Response from Men's Sexual Health:

We all find that sex becomes less frequent as we get older, and you should not worry about that part of the question. However it sounds as if the main worry is that you are losing your erection during sex. There are many reasons why this can happen – for example if you or your wife are tired or anxious, or you may want to avoid disturbing children or others nearby, or one of you is not very roused at the time. Perhaps she is not in the mood or not enjoying it? Once it has happened you may then get anxious that it may happen again – and of course anxiety can then make it happen. 

It is often better to stop – take a break from sex – it is really important to talk to your wife about the problem and not to feel angry or embarrassed. Agree perhaps to cuddle but to avoid touching each other sexually for a few days. You may want to agree to penetrating gently after waiting for a few days without trying to have active sex – there is no need to have an orgasm every time and if you agree not to do this it helps to remove pressure and anxiety. After a few occasions like this you may find your feelings become so strong that you stay hard and that you have an orgasm without problems. If you don't, specialist help is available – ask your doctor.

Answered by team member Dr Peter
9th January 2016